I remember the day I first saw them, it was love at first sight, and my heart constricted as I saw them proudly placed on the display shelf, arrogantly waiting to be picked up and then fondled by a someone in front of an oversized mirror. They were the Autumn-Winter 2012 velvet Prada slipper pumps in navy blue, and I had to have them, and the slippers could be mine for a not-so-modest €350.
For the next 4 months i obsessed over them, visited them regularly in their home in the shoe department and even oddly talked to them sometimes when no one was watching. My Precious. I decided to do what every other girl would do who can't afford to buy the beautiful designer items she sells. I saved. Every payday, other delicious material subjects tried to seduce me, but i stayed faithful. Three weeks ago I became the proud owner of these luxe Prada babies.. Joy! If you think this story is going to have a happy ending it's not the case. Within ten minutes of having them on in work, they began to sting, then squeeze, and cut, until my feet swelled up and they were unbearable to wear. Even colleagues commented on the startling tomato shade my feet had turned. Slipping my feet into those dainty Prada slippers became less like Cinderella and more like her ugly step-sister.
Regardless of this, I stubbornly prevailed in wearing them daily. I bandaged my feet up, and grimaced as I walked in them all day, until i could no longer take the pain. I was spurred on by female colleagues who would gush at how beautiful they looked when they saw them. Convinced that they would 'loosen out' or 'get more comfortable' were not the case. To the naked eye the velvet 'slipper' denotes, cushioned, soft and luxury comfort. However, upon examination of the design, even though the slipper are high-rise over your toes, the sides are too low cut. This means that you toes are pushed to far forward for grip.
I am distraught. When you buy designer pumps, you expect heaven. The more they hurt, the less of a novelty they became until guilt overcame me for buying them. Some may say it's just my size 7 feet. But for now I'm going to reconsider my interpretation of the 'Devil Wears Prada' . Can it be instead that they are designer footwear gems who only fit those with abnormal hoof like extremities? Maybe I am the normal one after all. Maybe.
Until next time Ducklings,
Love Vera xX
(Please follow me on Twitter: @veramcgrath)